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The Ten Commandments of a First Date
First dates are like job interviews with a martini. You’ve put in all the hard work to get to where you are and you have one chance to impress the pants (or skirt) off the person who will decide whether or not you’re worthy of a second encounter. The whole thing can be so nerve racking that it can make Saturday nights sitting at home alone watching reruns of Seinfeld appear more exciting. While many of us are willing to do almost anything to make a first date run smoothly there are some things that should just never be attempted…
1. Don’t be Someone that You’re Not
Your date is expecting to be on a date with you – not you pretending to be someone that you’re not. Be upfront and honest, if your date is a vegetarian and you can never say no to a steak don’t pretend that you lead the life of a tree hugging hippy. The truth always eventually comes out so if you’re lying now you can bet there will be fireworks in the future, and I don’t mean the good ones.
2. Don’t Look Like a Slob
You want to be at your best when you’re on a first date. Unless you’re dating a homeless person, last night’s shirt that you fished out from under the bed will not suffice. But you don’t want to go overboard either, after all, wearing a three piece suit to drinks at the pub will just make you look like a pretentious twat. The key is, dress how you would normally dress for the occasion but with about 10% more effort.
3. Don’t Get Drunk
Unless your first date is at a Munich Beer Hall during Oktoberfest, keeping a hold of your liquor is a good idea. Remember all those embarrassing drinking stories you have? Want this to be one of them? Didn’t think so. I once had a date with a guy that I had a huge crush on, and because I was so nervous (and at the staff Christmas party with an open bar beforehand) I had a few too many cocktails and turned up to the date well and truly socially lubricated. How long did it take before he called me for a second date? I’m still waiting…
4. Avoid the Ex Factor
Why should a date be scared off if you mention your ex? Well, put yourself in this situation. You’re on a date with someone that you really like, in fact, you can picture many more dates that end with the two of you walking into the sunset together. But then she mentions her ex, she rambles on about her ex, and suddenly you don’t picture the two of you walking into the sunset, you picture her and the ex walking into the sunset… and then the questions start… why mention the ex? Are they not over the ex? Is the ex still lurking in the background? … and it’s all downhill from there…
5. Leave the Emotional Baggage at Home
Most people, even the most high maintenance princess are looking for someone who is low maintenance – and this is especially true when it comes to emotional baggage. Crying into you dinner because it reminds you of your childhood puppy that was run over by your neighbour will quickly bring down the mood. Leave the crazy in you locked up – at least for the night.
6. Don’t Pick a Fight
I have a girlfriend who is really passionate about politics. She is so passionate about politics that she often will mention this on her first date. Problem is that she doesn’t stop at a mention – especially if the guy she is on a date with is voting for the “wrong” party. She’s a nice girl, really… but do you think guys want to go on a second date with her? Nope; never. Why would someone want to spend $100 on a nice meal with their date only to have them rip your head off over a differing opinion?
7. Resist the Babble
There are some great ways to deal with the nerves that stem from a first date – babbling is not one of them. No one likes to sit across from someone else for four hours listening to them talk about themselves... asking questions about your date’s life is very important – travel, siblings, or work are usually safe and easy topics.
8. Leave the Phone Off
There’s nothing quite as annoying as someone who talks on the phone all the time – especially when you’re trying to get to know them, it’s ultimately poor manners. Keep your phone switched off or leave it on silent.
9. Have an Escape Plan
Even if your date is going super well it’s sometimes a good idea to have an escape plan. Leaving things in a nice and pleasant state will have you and hopefully your date wanting more. Of course, there is another reason why escape plans are good; even some of the cutest guys and girls out there can be a total bore… saying you have a party to get to can work a treat.
10. Don’t Say You’ll Call If You Know You Never Will
Why would you do that?! It’s just mean!
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