Grandpa Mummy

A patient treated for agonizing abdominal pain received this surprising news in the hospital's paperwork: "Based on your visit today, we know you are pregnant." Surprising indeed for 71-year-old John Grady Pippen. The staff at Curry General Hospital in Gold Beach gave the retired mechanic and logger the ridiculously happy news this month, along with some pain pills. Hospital administrator William McMillan says an errant keystroke caused the hospital's computer to spit out the wrong discharge instructions for the grandfather.

(source: nbc15.com)

MC Mozart

A college student in Ohio who was charged with playing rap music too loudly on his car stereo had some trouble listening to classical music. Andrew Vactor was facing a $150 fine for sound violation, but a judge offered to reduce that to $35 if Vactor spent 20 hours listening to classical music by the likes of Bach, Beethoven and Chopin. Vactor, 24, lasted 15 minutes, a probation officer said. It wasn’t the music, Vactor said, he just needed to be at practice with the rest of the Urbana University basketball team. “I didn’t have the time to deal with that,” he said. “I just decided to pay the fine.” Champaign County Municipal Court Judge Susan Fornof-Lippencott says the idea was to force Vactor to listen to something he might not prefer, just as other people had no choice but to listen to his loud rap music.

(source: news.com.au)

Chimney Peep

A MAN was arrested on suspicion of burglary after getting stuck in the chimney of the supermarket he was allegedly trying to steal from - in the nude. Greater Manchester Police in the UK said officers were alerted to the Tesco Express store in the Pemberton area of Wigan at 5:30am after receiving a report of "concern for a man." When police arrived at the scene, they found a man trapped in the chimney breast. The 22-year-old was freed by firefighters and, after it was discovered he was naked, officers took him to hospital. He was later discharged and is now in police custody. "It is believed some of his clothes came off as a result of him struggling to get out of the chimney," police said in a statement.

(source: news.com.au)

Wife sale

A MAN who put his 25-year-old wife up for sale on a used car website and boasted of her "spacious boot" has dropped his price from $8 million to just $6000 - because he wants a quick sale. Romanian 20-year-old Alex Cretu, of Bucharest, placed the ad on www.okazii.ro because he was fed up of his wife's nagging. It reads: "Wife for sale. Model 1983, good condition. Full option, nice suspensions, spacious boot, second owner. "Price is negotiable, comes with three-year-old and five-year-old accessories. Seriousness demanded." He has received offers but refused to accept them as the potential buyers either offered too low a price or wanted to buy her in instalments.

(source: news.com.au)

Potty prankster

A MAN was taken to hospital still attached to a steel toilet after super glue was deliberately smeared on the seat. Firefighters were unable to free the man and were forced to remove the entire toilet with the man attached. The 35-year-old was in a public toilet cubicle in Brierley Hill in the West Midlands, England, when he became stuck. He was taken to hospital where doctors were forced to get into the ambulance before using chemicals to free him. "He appeared to be none the worse for his ordeal other than being understandably somewhat embarrassed," an ambulance spokesman said. It is thought the glue had been smeared on the toilet seat by a prankster, the BBC reported.. An ambulance crew and a rapid response vehicle attended the scene but they were unable to free the man. "With the help of a local authority and the fire and rescue service, the man was removed from the cubicle still attached to the stainless steel toilet," the spokesman said. The toilet was later taken back to the public convenience and re-installed.

(source: news.com.au)