Stressed Hubby

13 years is a long time to build up frustrations in a relationship. It's very easy to fall into bad habits like not communicating especially when raising 3 kids. Remember under strained and emotionally devoid circumstances anything looks better than what you have now so of course you have met someone and are contemplating leaving.

We are all human and we all crave affection, attention and that spark. If we are not getting it at home we will get it somewhere else, be that a new flame, a fling, burying ourselves in business or perhaps, at the bottom of an ice cream container.

My guess is your partner has similar frustrations and would be grateful for open dialogue. Of course telling her you are thinking of leaving may not go down well but driving yourself crazy is not doing anyone any favours either.

One thing that is important to realise is that the reason this other woman may seem so inviting is the escapism she offers. 13 years down the track with her, will you feel exactly the same if you don't learn to communicate properly from the start?

I think you and your partner should both go to see someone and put your relationship straight, for not only both your sakes but for the knowledge and benefit of any future relationship you do end up in. Understanding each others issues with a new perspective will at least allow you to move on if you must with a clear conscious, rather than as an act of sheer desperation, perhaps later regretted.

B & G