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Sydney & NSW
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Guys Ask
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I can't talk to women
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Sure you can :)
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Posted by:
anzacbub
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Date:
Sep 15, 2007
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Hmmm, my advice would firstly be to work on your self esteem with other people.
I'm not saying you have low self esteem either. But one thing that will really help you become confident with yourself is to say hi to every person you see, heck, even try to strike up a conversation with anyone, male or female.
I started doing this with anyone who I walked past that looked at me, it was mainly the females (heck, I'm hardly attractive!) and I always got a smile and a "hey" back.
It's kinda like stepping out of your comfort zone. If you only ever do what you've only ever done, then you'll only ever do what you've only ever done (something like that). Which basically means that if you keep trying the same thing over (being nervous or overly interested) it may work one day, but you'd be very luck if it did.
You're best off changing to a new plan, otherwise you're going to keep getting nervous with women.
I admit i'm hardly a ladies man, but thats because i'm not really that desperate, there are more important things in life to getting a girlfriend..In fact, I've never had one (not gay either!), but i've helped a damn lot of blokes in your situation who are caught up in a natural trap that we all get caught up in.
What I would suggest is that if you do approach say a 10 inside of a bar/club or wherever, don't offer her a drink (think about how many times she gets offered a drink in just one night?), don't compliment her (how many times do slobbering guys drool over her and pay her a million compliments to get her attention, only to get the boot?), treat her like she is nothing too fancy, heck, sit RIGHT next to her at the bar (if you're in a bar) and say "g'day" and then leave it at that until she figures that you may actually be someone worthwhile talking to.
If you do get into a discussion with her, cut it short, tell her you have to get back to your friends within a few mins of talking (IF THAT!).
While you walk away, turn around and ask for her email and/or phone number if she hasnt grabbed you and asked you for yours (if she does, don't give it to her, remember, she's hot, she knows she can use it to manipulate men, keep her guessing).
That there is more like a technique for a bar, and I don't like the idea of "techniques", I like the idea of just being calm and relaxed, don't be pushy, don't be needy, this comes across as confident and secure. Women love both of those things in a man.
As for what you can do to improve the shyness, just keep talking to women, you'll get the hang of it...you've just gotta work out the kinks and bumps :)
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