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Forums  ::  Sydney & NSW  ::  Guys Ask  ::  I can't talk to women
I can't talk to women
Posted by: flight Date: Sep 06, 2007
Hi ladies,

This is probably a stupid question but how do women like to be approached. I'm a nice guy and I am normaly the life of a party but when it comes to talking to women I get all shy and stupid lol.

Does anyone have any advice.

Thanks,
Flight
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Re: I can't talk to women
Posted by: shell1986 Date: Sep 06, 2007
Honestly Flight, we girls like a guy who is confident. A guy who knows what he's got to offer and puts it out there but doesn't do it in a cocky fashion. In my last relationship I was with this guy I had met in high school and we ended up being together 4 years. He would ask me out nearly every day, spend hours on the phone to me nearly every night but I would always say no. I simply thought he was a major dork who never missed a scouts meeting if his life depended on it...anyway it came to a party one night where that all changed. I was sitting down talking to all my friends when he came over and started talking to a few of the group I was with, I then went to get a drink and when I came back he had taken my seat. He figured out what would get my attention and used it to his advantage and the rest is history but my main point is that if he hadn't have put himself out there to get my attention I still to this day wouldn't have considered being with this guy. It's not a matter of knowing what to say to which girl, it's a case of being yourself and not being afraid of what may end up. Good luck with your searches = )
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Sure you can :)
Posted by: anzacbub Date: Sep 15, 2007
Hmmm, my advice would firstly be to work on your self esteem with other people.
I'm not saying you have low self esteem either. But one thing that will really help you become confident with yourself is to say hi to every person you see, heck, even try to strike up a conversation with anyone, male or female.
I started doing this with anyone who I walked past that looked at me, it was mainly the females (heck, I'm hardly attractive!) and I always got a smile and a "hey" back.

It's kinda like stepping out of your comfort zone. If you only ever do what you've only ever done, then you'll only ever do what you've only ever done (something like that). Which basically means that if you keep trying the same thing over (being nervous or overly interested) it may work one day, but you'd be very luck if it did.
You're best off changing to a new plan, otherwise you're going to keep getting nervous with women.

I admit i'm hardly a ladies man, but thats because i'm not really that desperate, there are more important things in life to getting a girlfriend..In fact, I've never had one (not gay either!), but i've helped a damn lot of blokes in your situation who are caught up in a natural trap that we all get caught up in.

What I would suggest is that if you do approach say a 10 inside of a bar/club or wherever, don't offer her a drink (think about how many times she gets offered a drink in just one night?), don't compliment her (how many times do slobbering guys drool over her and pay her a million compliments to get her attention, only to get the boot?), treat her like she is nothing too fancy, heck, sit RIGHT next to her at the bar (if you're in a bar) and say "g'day" and then leave it at that until she figures that you may actually be someone worthwhile talking to.
If you do get into a discussion with her, cut it short, tell her you have to get back to your friends within a few mins of talking (IF THAT!).
While you walk away, turn around and ask for her email and/or phone number if she hasnt grabbed you and asked you for yours (if she does, don't give it to her, remember, she's hot, she knows she can use it to manipulate men, keep her guessing).

That there is more like a technique for a bar, and I don't like the idea of "techniques", I like the idea of just being calm and relaxed, don't be pushy, don't be needy, this comes across as confident and secure. Women love both of those things in a man.

As for what you can do to improve the shyness, just keep talking to women, you'll get the hang of it...you've just gotta work out the kinks and bumps :)
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do what i do
Posted by: PopEyez Date: May 02, 2008
you have to drink a litre of vodka then go talk. i find im more myself after a good pint or so of some kind of high level spirit. but hey thats just me. just go with the flow and do what feels right.
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Just keep it natural
Posted by: gis3ll3 Date: May 06, 2008
I like guys that are self-effacing and have the ability to not to take anything too seriously. That therefore has to apply to how they approach me. I don't like guys who kinda have to make airs about themselves.
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