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Forums  ::  Sydney & NSW  ::  Girls Ask  ::  Scaredy cats
Scaredy cats
Posted by: sexyseniorita1 Date: Sep 29, 2006
Hi all,

I was wondering if someone could help me out with an issue. Why do guys sometimes get scared off by girls? What is it that hooks a guy and makes him come back for more?

I would really appreciate any help coz I just seem to keep attracting jerks that are hot and cold!

Luv Sexy S
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Posted by: Tomthetank Date: Sep 30, 2006
Lower ur standards.... All u women go for the hot male’s and they are all wankers coz they get so many women. SO go for the average looking or (CUTE) men and i garentee they are much nicer people EVERYTIME
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Scaredy cats
Posted by: yachtie11 Date: Sep 30, 2006
Guys are worried about seeming foolish or just morons when approaching ladies. We lack confidence as all ladies seem to want movie stars or footballers. Ladies should respond to guys who behave and treat them with respect
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scaredy cats
Posted by: slinkygirl1 Date: Oct 03, 2006
that all makes sense ;)
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Posted by: anzacbub Date: Oct 19, 2006
why do guys SOMETIMES get scared off by girls....hmmm

Alright, in what way are they SCARED OFF?

Do you drool all over these guys, call them 50 times a day and generally act clingy? maybe that’s one reason....and actually, many men use the running method to gain attraction.

Something I have learnt...even though I don’t have a girlfriend and never have had one, is that if you give a woman the gift of missing you, then you’re pretty much in the game so to speak.

See, I don’t really know how to respond to this, as I don’t know what the situation is in where these guys get SCARED OFF.

For all i know, you could be talking about approaching you, or you falling for a guy and he runs away from you, I dunno.

Most shy guys without much experience, and those guys with morals will actually be turned off if you appear to be needy, sl*tty, dressed gross, get drunk every weekend, etc...they look at you as a get around, a sl*t, etc...you may like these guys...but do you think they know that? maybe they do, but maybe they don’t, I don’t know the situation once again, but...these guys may be shocked that a woman is even talking to them, or showing signs of flirting, etc...they may even feel strange about that, some people are actually so bad that if a girl flirts with them, a girl that they really like flirts with them, and that guy actually is freaked out, it’s too good to be true..
unfortunately, I was in a situation similar, god knows why I didn’t do anything about it, but...yeah, back then, I didn’t really understand what the hell was going on...I’m 18 and had a freaking hot (10/10) 27 yr old foxy sexy sporty flirty woman flirting with me ALOT, showing every sign of interest....but I didn’t do much in return, and so ...yeah, eventually she went quiet, we stopped talking...I had no idea why...then I asked her out so maybe we could start talking as friends again, like before...but she said she would feel like a perv, I persued, and later she tells me to go for someone younger, blahblahblah....
Talk about f’ing with a guys head!
We are just starting to talk a bit more, but....I never did anything, and that was a mistake, a mistake that MANY guys make, they are just unsure, they doubt the situation...if I knew that this woman was actually single (I thought she may have been involved already, or even married) If I had actually responded to her flirtatious activities and sexual hints, maybe something could have happened, but...nope, it didn’t, I f’d up, but i’m still confused.
You’re wondering why i’m going on about this right....well, i’ll explain...when something like this happens to the majority of today’s metrosexual population, they doubt themselves, their self asteem goes bye bye, they let one single thing cut all their chances, they think they are a failure, etc, so they get scared when they THINK a woman is flirting with them or is interested in them...even when the woman really IS interested.
Thankfully, i’m not one of those guys anymore...if I get rejected...so be it, life goes on.


Now...on to these stereotyping people writing posts here.

Firstly, I know more UGLY morons than pretty boys who are morons...that is for sure.
And to be honest, personality and attitude can even change the way you visually see someone, it’s like me looking at a really hot goreous woman, model quality, sexy beast, and then I say hi to her and she pulls out a cigarette, and starts talking like a redneck...
Every time I look at her from then on, I think of her attitude, and therefore her appearance has changed in my mind.

I think some people here are so selfish and insecure about themselves that they think that they have a right to stereotype people...racism is stereotyping, very few people like racism, it’s the same with stereotyping someones personality because of the way they look.

A mate of mine...he isn’t exactly the sexiest fabio on the block, but he has a personality made of gold and diamonds, he’s not a wussy or anything, he’s a leader...literally...
A quality that EVERY woman finds incredibly attractive....no woman really wants some wuss to cling to them, seek approval for every action, or anything, they want a MAN, not a sheep...and I’m sure the ladies here will agree with me on that one.

I also have a friend who is pretty damn good looking, he is fit, he goes to the gym, etc etc, he is a healthy successful guy, and he still has a heart of gold and diamonds...just because he is a pretty boy, it doesnt make him a snob, some pretty boys are the hardest bastards around, women also like a man who knows what he is doing with his life...a successful man...it’s another attractive quality, which i’m sure the women will agree with, and if they don’t agree with me, they are lying, because i’m always right except for the times I am wrong...but they don’t count.

Ok....as you can tell, I’m rambling on a bit here...that’s probably because I just finished my martial arts training for the day (all day training and teaching classes, aswell as cleaning, etc) and i’m stuffed, my eyes are all blurry now, so I might just finish this post and ...yeah....bed.....sleep.....mmmm

Stop being so judgemental people.
As for the topic creator.
Perhaps you should look around more places than the nightclub, you’re bound to run into pricks there all the time...
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only guys who get scared off are thinking they want better...
Posted by: gentlewolfy Date: Feb 03, 2007
the only reason why guys run is that, they are thinking that the relationship they have atm is not good enough or they want better and it really hurts women that they are very shallow acting like that.

I find it the same with me tooo. i have treated women with respect, giving them space, paying for dinner, things, going out and stuff, being a great lover and satisfying them as id rather the woman be happy and if they can satisfy me then yeah, that would be great, but most guys dont satisfy women and only care bout themselves, which means they have no interest in you if they decide to run off.

i guess when someone runs both women or men they want better and are just too picky...... i say dont get too picky as u might meet someone that is soo hot then be jerks in return.
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Posted by: Juzzyj Date: Feb 19, 2007
It could be because they don’t like you at one extreame, or they might feel inadequate and/or inferior. Both are common. If they go hot, THEN go cold then you are best to assume they don’t like you. Even if they do, wouldn’t you prefer someone who doesn’t mess with your mind? If you are intimidating to them, then they are likely to act like a moron in the first place and not have the confidence to be ’hot’ - unless they are drunk or on drugs, or both.
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Gentlewolfy
Posted by: anzacbub Date: Jul 17, 2007
Gentlewolfy:

Think about it from a womans perspective for a second.

And picture yourself as a really gorgeous woman firstly.
You are in a nightclub, standing around at the bar, waiting for, and hoping that the right guy, will approach you. You know you can get what you want, you know you're one of the very few "10's" in the nightclub and that there are guys everywhere just drooling over you in their minds.
While you're standing there, sipping on some cheap drink, you've been approached by at least 20 desperate guys who have absolutely no idea how attraction works, 20 guys who use the same stupid corny pick up lines, the same guys who basically bend over backwards for your attention.
Then you have a guy that is approaching..in your eyes, he looks hot, but so did the other 20 guys who bought you drinks, spoilt you with compliments and treated you like you were a goddess.
This guy is approaching, you keep an eye on him while he approaches, but he doesnt even glimpse at you, instead, he sits down at the bar right next to you, and ignores you completely....are you used to this? hell no, you get approached hundreds of times whenever you go out, by the same guys, and all of a sudden, this not so needy guy who doesnt seek approval sits down beside you and doesnt show the slightest bit of interest.
This is new to you, so how on earth do you handle it..you test him.
Now thats another whole story to go on about.

Now I want you to think about a few weeks down the track when you're in a relationship with this guy, he turns out to be a complete suck up like the rest, he buys you presents, he pays for every single dinner, he just spoils you crazy.
HE BUYS YOUR ATTENTION.
Had he asked if he could buy you a drink at the nightclub a few weeks back, you wouldnt have even been with this guy.
But he was rare..or so it seemed, and now he's just vowing for your attention thinking that he is doing the right thing by you, because he's buying you gifts.

THAT IS NOT HOW ATTRACTION WORKS!
Yes, it is nice, it is a gentleman like thing to spoil your woman once in a while, but my whole point is that money does NOT buy attraction.
I hear so many people complaining that relationships cost too much.
Now i've never been in a relationship but I tell them to wake up to themselves and wonder why their woman USED them for their money before dumping them for another guy who is a "total jerk".

The reason that happens, is because those jerks arent really jerks, they are just confident, and you are not, you are buying a womans attention, because you don't think that you can attract her in any other way.

This may not be YOU specifically, but this is common, and I have absolutely no doubt that women are sick of guys buying them.
You'd feel like a whore if you were a woman, being paid just to give your man an ego boost basically. It's pathetic.

I do believe that being courteous, being a gentleman (that doesnt mean, paying for everything! women have plenty of money too), being spontaneous, being mysterious, being confident about yourself without being a moron, yes being cocky and funny also helps, i mean, sly remarks, deliberate stupid jokes and what not fit into that category of cocky and funny.

So next time you are with someone, or if ou are with someone, just do little things that mean alot...leave little notes around the house or apartment saying sweet things, tell the gal you're going to do something nice for her, but then don't say a single thing about it for about a week or so (if she can wait that long!) and she'll be dying to find out what you want to do for her, and she will then feel attraction, she will then think about you more, and all of that.

I could blabber all night long, but...you've just gotta try and look at things in a different perspective and stop trying harder at what doesnt work, DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT INSTEAD :)
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hi
Posted by: randy1216 Date: Jul 21, 2007
all of the boys are sick of losing every thing they have to bad women who take all there things or they freinds things, and getting setup for something by those women out there that hate men and thats why it is hard for some men to trust a women again.

so if you like to find a nice man you will need to known, and see why it is hard to find man you want.
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So much negativity
Posted by: busy_man Date: Aug 27, 2007
Are men really so bad? I really think that a man backing out of a relationship that is not working is the better option for all concerned. Nobody, male - female or otherwise would walk away if the relationship was exactly what they wanted. Best to keep looking for that elusive soulmate. As sure as I am that there are better sunsets waiting than those gone by, your perfect partner is out there looking for you. Though not always where you expect them to be.
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the real anzacbub
Posted by: natfran Date: Nov 06, 2007
Well, just before I post, I'm now on a new profile, my other one as you can see above is anzacbub. Unfortunately I was victim to a hacker attack and I can't find out where to get my old account deleted.

Anyway, continueing on. I agree with the above post. If things are going wrong, either partner should discuss it and try to work on making the relationship better, OR, call it quits. If there is no longer attraction in a relationship, it either needs to be recreated which can even be done by "having a break" from one another. Either that or the relationship simply just needs to end.
Make it or break it basically.

Otherwise I still retain what I've said previously, It could be a huuuuge number of factors. The only reason you women are attracted to "jerks" is because jerks show more manly qualities than "wusses" who possess the qualities of a dependent child trying to get attention.
Unfortunately, for all women, the only way you'll really find that right guy, that real MAN who isn't a F'head but obtains the qualities of a gentleman and a MAN, is by continueing on looking, and also looking in different places. Pubs for one, are rarely going to have real men in it.
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scaredy cats
Posted by: _woody_ Date: Feb 04, 2008
I doubt you are scaring them off sexyseniorita1. I'd be more interested in trying to uncover why you are attracting jerks. You don't have to you know.
Cheers, woody
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